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  • The misadventures of my dad.

    Here's one of the many stories of the series of odd jobs my father has had in the past.

    My father used to work for mining company and they would use explosives to help dig the hole. My father's job was to go and visit every establishment and home within a 5 mile radius of the site that was to be bombed. He would go there and take pictures of the foundation and the building itself. After this, they would take a sample of well water from the lot and pictures of pipes. This was for damage assessment and to prove whether or not any claims of damage by shockwaves were valid. Enough with this and on to the story.

    My father and his friend (lets call him Paul) go out to this trailer thats at the top of a rather tall hill inside a truck. Paul stutters constantly so my father does all of the talking. They reach the top and see a trailer up on bricks and with no wheels, a chicken coop that has been converted into a living quarters, a dead dog still chained up to the trailer and half rotten. No grass and dozens of small pieces of typical trailer trash.

    An old man walks out of the chicken coop and greets the two men. He has overalls and no shirt, almost no hair and no teeth. My father explains why they are there and the old man says that his son and daughter-in-law are out for the week. He also says that he lives in the coop and that the two others live in the trailer.

    So my father and Paul go to the chicken coop and take pictures of it and the foundation. The old man then lets them go into the trailer. My father open the trailer and are greeted by a smell that my fathers describes as a smell "that would knock a buzzard of a gut wagon at 50 yards."

    "J-J-J-J JESUS CHRIST" Paul says.


    What they see is a kitchen that hadn't been clean in around 5 years. The sink was covered with a green fuzz and there was rotten food covering the ground and walls. There was millions of cockroaches and other bugs running around.

    Well my Father takes all of the pictures they need and go towards the back of the trailer. When they past the door leading into the bathroom, they could tell that the smell was the worst in there. So they decide they should do the bedroom first.

    The bedroom has a mattress that is covered in urine and sweat stains. My dad also said that he could see little bugs crawling in it.

    "J-J-J-J JESUS CHRIST" Paul says again.

    They go on to taking there pictures, and head back to the bathroom door. My father explains to Paul that he will open the door and take the pictures as quickly as possible. My father opens the door to discover the source of the smell.

    "J-J-J-J JESUS F-F F%^@ING C-C-C CHRIST" Paul yells.

    These people don't have plumbing, so they had used the toilet until it had filled up. Not only that, but the tub and sink was full of waste as well. My father gags and takes the picture and the run out of the trailer.

    Now they have to check the water of the well. The well is a little bit down on the side of the hill. The old man shows them it and they pull off the lid on the well. The water has a 6-inch thick layer of scum and foam. Paul look at the old man and the old man says that they drink the water underneath the foam. So my father takes a vial and scoops up a sample of the water. My father says that he could see things squirming in it.

    My father and Paul leaves the place and Dad drop Paul at his house to clean up and my father heads back to his apartment to clean up as well. He throw the cloths he was wearing and takes a nice long shower. He go back to Paul's house and see thats he has a new set of clothes on as well.

    "I threw mine aways, what did you do with your clothes?" my father asked.

    "I b-b-b-burned the sons-s-s of b-b-bitches.

    Any stories of trash like this. Oh sorry for the swearing but the story needed it included.
    |TG-6th|SirNerd

    My Resume includes Pirate, Mercenary, and a Devil Dog, what else do you want.

    Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional.

    When you can't run anymore, you crawl and when you can't do that, you find someone to carry you.

  • #2
    Re: The misadventures of my dad.

    I dont have any quite this bad, cause I dont make home visits, but I'm sure if I did, I'd have something to relate to it with some of the people I see.

    Anyway, heres a story from the hospital back when I was in nursing school as an undergrad.

    I show up at clinical on a bright and shiny morning, groggy from being up so freaking early, and report in to my instructor. I go up to the ward (i was on my medical surgical unit at the time) and report in to the charge nurse. After a few hours, I notice a really foul smell coming from one of the rooms. I try to figure out where its coming from, but the smell is so potent that it's filling the halls.

    Now, I'm no stranger to foul smells, but people on the ward were starting to gag. So we decided to check all the rooms to figure out what it was. We entered what was supposed to be a vacant room to find a man lying in the bed, COVERED (head to toe) in fecal matter. The bed was literally so soaked with urine that it had dripped and puddled on the floor.

    We discovered that the patient was actually some college kid who had suffered a nervous breakdown, compounded with having several infections (which were probably linked to the breakdown) after he took part in some moronic ritual he called "no shower november", in which the participants dont bathe, shave, brush teeth or practice any other form of good hygiene for a month. When he started going crazy in his dorm and barfing all over the place, his parents had him treated and then admitted for 72 hour psychiatric observation (also known as being "baker act-ed"). After his observation was over, he snuck off the mental health ward and down to the ward I was on, where he had apparently been hiding for two days, urinating and defecating all over himself, then proceeding to smear it all over his body.

    Now if thats not bad enough, when we entered the room, he started screaming that he wanted a hot nurse. Fortunately for us, we have a method for dealing with people like this. We wrap them in a plastic poncho and take them to the "big bath", where we hose them off with a pressurized spray. The spray can be set for anything from a gentle mist to almost firehose level. We chose the firehose setting.

    After all was said and done, he told us that the reason he did it was because he liked getting sponge baths from "well-endowed" nurses and he figured that the dirtier he got, "the dirtier they'll get...with me". Well, he was brought up on criminal charges for the incident. The big problem was that as clean as we got the room, it took a full 6 months before the smell went away and we had to quarantine the room for the duration.

    Nasty stuff.

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    • #3
      Re: The misadventures of my dad.

      Originally posted by Ferris Bueller View Post
      The big problem was that as clean as we got the room, it took a full 6 months before the smell went away and we had to quarantine the room for the duration.

      Nasty stuff.
      Two words: Peppermint Oil!



      - -


      "..good sportsmanship shouldn't be sacrificed in the name of teamwork. " --WhiskeySix

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      • #4
        Re: The misadventures of my dad.

        I should of said "any stories of people being absolutely disgusting.
        |TG-6th|SirNerd

        My Resume includes Pirate, Mercenary, and a Devil Dog, what else do you want.

        Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional.

        When you can't run anymore, you crawl and when you can't do that, you find someone to carry you.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: The misadventures of my dad.

          OH...

          MY

          GAWD!

          Yeah.. Ferris.. and Lorax.. keep a little bottle of Peppermint oil concentrate in yer bag.. if you even suspect you are going into a foul situation, rub a dab under your nose above you upper lip. It'll keep your breathing right and your stomach in the right position - no matter what you ate for breakfast.
          sigpic


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          • #6
            Re: The misadventures of my dad.

            These stories are so awful I had to read them out-loud to my girlfriend! :D
            | | |

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            • #7
              Re: The misadventures of my dad.

              Originally posted by Ferris Bueller View Post
              I don't have any quite this bad, cause I don't make home visits, but I'm sure if I did, I'd have something to relate to it with some of the people I see.

              Anyway, here's a story from the hospital back when I was in nursing school as an undergrad.

              I show up at clinical on a bright and shiny morning, groggy from being up so freaking early, and report in to my instructor. I go up to the ward (i was on my medical surgical unit at the time) and report in to the charge nurse. After a few hours, I notice a really foul smell coming from one of the rooms. I try to figure out where its coming from, but the smell is so potent that it's filling the halls.

              Now, I'm no stranger to foul smells, but people on the ward were starting to gag. So we decided to check all the rooms to figure out what it was. We entered what was supposed to be a vacant room to find a man lying in the bed, COVERED (head to toe) in fecal matter. The bed was literally so soaked with urine that it had dripped and puddled on the floor.

              We discovered that the patient was actually some college kid who had suffered a nervous breakdown, compounded with having several infections (which were probably linked to the breakdown) after he took part in some moronic ritual he called "no shower November", in which the participants don't bathe, shave, brush teeth or practice any other form of good hygiene for a month. When he started going crazy in his dorm and barfing all over the place, his parents had him treated and then admitted for 72 hour psychiatric observation (also known as being "baker act-ed"). After his observation was over, he snuck off the mental health ward and down to the ward I was on, where he had apparently been hiding for two days, urinating and defecating all over himself, then proceeding to smear it all over his body.

              Now if that's not bad enough, when we entered the room, he started screaming that he wanted a hot nurse. Fortunately for us, we have a method for dealing with people like this. We wrap them in a plastic poncho and take them to the "big bath", where we hose them off with a pressurized spray. The spray can be set for anything from a gentle mist to almost fire hose level. We chose the fire hose setting.

              After all was said and done, he told us that the reason he did it was because he liked getting sponge baths from "well-endowed" nurses and he figured that the dirtier he got, "the dirtier they'll get...with me". Well, he was brought up on criminal charges for the incident. The big problem was that as clean as we got the room, it took a full 6 months before the smell went away and we had to quarantine the room for the duration.

              Nasty stuff.
              That is bad. Where you don't want to work at is a prison. See my Mom works at a State Correctional Institution in Pennsylvania. I can't tell you some of the funnier ones but here are some.

              Well, a common practice among male inmates is to rub their ***** until it bleeds just to get the nurses to 'bandage' a.k.a. hold their goods.

              Another incident with some inmates happened a few years before the DOC segregated the prisons, a female inmate was being transported into the prison's front gate and the metal detector went off. Of course it was the bra (man's dream come true- not her though) and it had to come off. While this was going on, the inmates were going nuts yelling 'take it off! Take it off!' and my mom is like what the heck. Of course we can figure out what happened next.

              With in the past 3 months, an inmate gave my mom a letter telling her how he liked her. He wrote a note saying how my mom made him happy ( use your imagination) and how he would wait for her after group therapy/session or if she wanted it, they could do it in her office. Of course my mom just called security. He's in lock up. :row__593:

              Now, before my mom worked at the DOC, she worked for Welfare out of Philly. One time this lady complains to her that she is pregnant again because the pills were not working... well she did not know they were for swallowing. She was putting them..... And when the lady found out how the pills were to be taken, she was mortified.... :row__521:



              Interested in listening to guitar playing and a good conversation, look for me on TS.

              "Hope is for the weak. I hope for nothing. I work for things. That is the only way for events to unfold." -Cleverbot

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: The misadventures of my dad.

                Originally posted by BeSiege82 View Post
                Now, before my mom worked at the DOC, she worked for Welfare out of Philly. One time this lady complains to her that she is pregnant again because the pills were not working... well she did not know they were for swallowing. She was putting them..... And when the lady found out how the pills were to be taken, she was mortified.... :row__521:
                From Scrubs:
                "Sir, it's "annulgeesic" not "anal-gesic". The pills go in your mouth."

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: The misadventures of my dad.

                  Originally posted by BeSiege82 View Post
                  Well, a common practice among male inmates is to rub their ***** until it bleeds just to get the nurses to 'bandage' a.k.a. hold their goods.
                  I can't even comprehend that. Just wtf.
                  I am the one, I am the zero, I am your low resolution hero.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: The misadventures of my dad.

                    Also the "sagging pants" fad was started in prison. It was a signal that the person who wore their pants like this were "available" to the other inmates.
                    |TG-6th|SirNerd

                    My Resume includes Pirate, Mercenary, and a Devil Dog, what else do you want.

                    Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional.

                    When you can't run anymore, you crawl and when you can't do that, you find someone to carry you.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: The misadventures of my dad.

                      Originally posted by Sir-Nerd View Post
                      Also the "sagging pants" fad was started in prison. It was a signal that the person who wore their pants like this were "available" to the other inmates.
                      NO WAY!
                      sigpic


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                      • #12
                        Re: The misadventures of my dad.

                        My wife worked for an OB/Gyn and she had some pretty nasty stories but this one stuck with me.

                        A patient had made an appointment because she thought she had a infection because of a foul order. During the exam, the doctor discovered a tampon and it had been weeks since the woman had her period. The odor was so strong the closed the exam room for the rest of the day and had to open the windows. The tampon was put in a biohazard bag and put in the outside dumpster and the room smelled the entire day.

                        My wife was doing checkout and always made sure the doctor had circled diagnosis and procedure code and she had circled, "Removal of foreign object from vagina."
                        Big-eye101: "A true catman post a day keeps the bad mood away"

                        Please do not take any posts made by Catman seriously. If you begin to take his posts seriously, please seek psychiatric attention.

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                        • #13
                          Re: The misadventures of my dad.

                          Originally posted by Daxx View Post
                          I can't even comprehend that. Just wtf.
                          What part- the part of having a 'Brunhilda' woman clean your ***** or the part of rubbing their ***** until it bleeds?



                          Interested in listening to guitar playing and a good conversation, look for me on TS.

                          "Hope is for the weak. I hope for nothing. I work for things. That is the only way for events to unfold." -Cleverbot

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: The misadventures of my dad.

                            I think hes talking about the part where the guys would intentionally hurt themselves just to be "handled" by a nurse. In that case, they oughtta start employing male nurses.

                            On the topic, I have another story, but it's completely clean, just kinda funny. Theres a homeless guy named Bill who lives somewhere around the hospital. He's a very nice guy, mid 70's, missing a leg and 4 fingers from vietnam. He got lost in the VA system and they declared him deceased so he lost his benefits (he's trying to get them back, but it's a major uphill battle with those people). He never begs for money or bothers anyone and the entire hospital staff loves him. Even the police officers who frequent the hospital will sit around and make conversation with him. He gets free coffee from us, but thats about the extent of what we can do for him for free.

                            However, he does have a very interesting habit that allows him to stay clean. See, Bill likes to fish. But he refuses to bathe in the lakes around here (several have gators and others have some nasty bacteria problems, plus he just doesnt want to get naked in public and get in trouble because he cant get out of the water unassisted). So what he does, is every time he goes fishing, he injures himself in some small way. Usually its a fishhook through a finger or a cut he got when he was fileting his catch. But the upside for him is that when he's admitted to the ER, he's allowed to shower. So he does, every day or two he'll show up with a fresh cut or puncture or something so he can get clean. Oddly enough, it always seems to happen on the hand hes missing fingers on because he has no feeling in that hand. I think thats the most inventive way I've ever seen someone con their way into taking a hot shower.

                            Oh yeah, and he eats like a king too, and always has nice clothes to wear, courtesy of donations from the hospital staff. If you saw him, you'd never guess that he's a homeless guy. You'd think hes just another patient at the hospital.

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                            • #15
                              Re: The misadventures of my dad.

                              Originally posted by P8riot View Post
                              NO WAY!
                              Do i detect sarcasm or does your kid do this.
                              |TG-6th|SirNerd

                              My Resume includes Pirate, Mercenary, and a Devil Dog, what else do you want.

                              Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional.

                              When you can't run anymore, you crawl and when you can't do that, you find someone to carry you.

                              Comment

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