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Monty Python/BF video!

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  • Monty Python/BF video!

    How Not To Be Seen

    John Cleese: In this picture there are forty people. None of them can
    be seen. In this film we hope to show you how not to be seen. In this
    film we hope to show how not to be seen. This is Mr. E.R. Bradshaw of
    Napier Court, Black Lion Road London SE5. He can not be seen. Now I am
    going to ask him to stand up. Mr. Bradshaw, will you stand up please?
    (In the distance Mr. Bradshaw stands up. There is a loud gunshot as Mr.
    Bradshaw is shot in the stomach. He crumples to the ground.) This
    demonstrates the value of not being seen.

    In this picture we canot see Mrs. B.J. Smegma of 13, The Cresent,
    Belmont. Mrs Smegma will you stand up please. (Mrs Smegma stands up. A
    gunshot rings out, and Mrs. Smegma leaps into the air, and falls to the
    ground dead.

    Cut to another area, however this time there is a bush in the middle.)
    This is Mr. Nesbitt of Harlow New Town. Mr. Nesbit, would you stand up
    please. (nothing happens) Mr. Nesbitt has learned the first lesson of
    not being seen - not to stand up. However, he has chosen a very obvious
    piece of cover. (The bush explodes and you hear a muffled scream).

    (Cut to another scene with three bushes.) Mr. E.V. Lambert of
    Homeleigh, The Burrows, Oswestly, has presented us with a poser. We do
    not know which bush he is behind, but we can soon find out. (the
    left-hand bush explodes, then the right-hand bush explodes, and then
    the middle bush explodes. There is a muffled scream as Mr. Lambert is
    blown up) Yes, it was the middle one.

    (Cut to a shot of a farmland area with a water butt, a wall, a pile of
    leaves, a bushy tree, a parked car, and lots of bushes in the
    distance.) Mr. Ken Andrews, of Leighton Road, Slough has concealed
    himself extremely well. He could be almost anywhere. He could be behind
    the wall, inside the water barrel, beneath a pile of leaves, up in the
    tree, squatting down behind the car, concealed in a hollow, or crouched
    behind any one of a hundred bushes. However we happen to know he's in
    the water barrel. (The water barrel just blows up in a huge explosion.

    Cut to a panning shot from the beach huts to beach accross the sea.)
    Mr. and Mrs. Watson of Ivy Cottage, Worplesdon Road, Hull, chose a very
    cunning way of not being seen. When we called at their house, we found
    that they had gone away on two weeks holiday. They had not left any
    forwarding address, and they had bolted and barred the house to prevent
    us from getting in. However, a neighbor told us where there were. (The
    camera pans around and stops on a obvious looking hut, which blows up.
    Cut to a house with a gumby standing out front.) And here is the
    neighbor who told us where they were. (He blows up, leaving just his
    boots.) Nobody likes a clever dick. (Cut to a shack in the desert) And
    here is where he lived. (shack blows up - cut to a building) And this
    is where Lord Langdon lived, who refused to speak to us. (it blows up)
    And so did the gentleman who lived here... (shot of a house - it blows
    up) ....and here...(another building blows up) ...and of course here...
    (a third building blows up) ...and Manchester... (Manchester blows up)
    ...and the West Midlands... (the West Midlands blow up) Spain...
    (Spain blows up) ...China! (China blows up and Cleese starts laughing
    maniacally; cut to Michael Palin watching all this on his news monitor)

    Michael Palin: Ah, I'm afraid we'll have to stop the film there, as
    some of the scenes which followed were of a violent nature which may
    have proved distressing to some of our viewers. Though, not to me, I
    can tell you.
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  • #2
    Re: Monty Python/BF video!

    lol that's great. I love Montey Python lol


    • #3
      Re: Monty Python/BF video!

      nice find...


      • #4
        Re: Monty Python/BF video!

        Monty Python absolutely rocks. I am very proud to say I am British when this is the kind of talent our country can produce.

        Have any of you seen the "lego-men nights of the round table" bonus feature on the Holy Grail DVD? That was brilliant too.

        Play EVE online. It's like being an accounting addict in space.




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