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15 Police Comments

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  • 15 Police Comments

    The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country... (supposedly)

    #15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

    #14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a
    worthless document."

    #13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't
    know, that's the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

    #11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

    #10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
    will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

    #9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
    again or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    #7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
    ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

    #6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster

    #5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but
    now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

    #4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

    #3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPIC/NCIC."

    #2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
    yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

    And ... THE BEST ONE!

    #1 "You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't
    - Sign here."

  • #2
    Re: 15 Police Comments



    • #3
      Re: 15 Police Comments

      funny, but don't believe it... these have been "jokes" for years.
      Magnum |TG-18th|

      We stand between chaos and order, evil and good, despair and hope - we are the Thin Blue Line, and we will never be broken.


      • #4
        Re: 15 Police Comments

        My dad was a police officer after he retired from the army (before cancer got him).

        His favorite line (which I'm sure is a standard police line):
        "Quota? No, sir. The chief says I can write as many as I want."
        "Sympathy means a lot, coming from Kulmar. I didn't think it was possible.
        Good luck getting rid of your disease. If you're infected, though, stay away--I can't afford to be a zombie right now.
        " Ednos



        • #5
          Re: 15 Police Comments

          Originally posted by P8riot View Post
          #8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
          Anyone watch one of those Jay Leno man-in-the-street surveys? (Or is it one of the other late night hosts? Haven't seen one in awhile, as I play WoW instead of watching TV.) I expect an awful lot of those people around the studio would flunk that one cold sober.
          Dude, seriously, WHAT handkerchief?

          snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."

          Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."


          • #6
            Re: 15 Police Comments

            #14, goodnees... That could be a heap of political trouble if the guy said it to the wrong person.
            |TG-18th| Acreo Aeneas
            TG World of Tanks Clan Executive Officer
            Former 9th & 13th

            Pronounciation: Eh-Cree-Oh Ah-Nay-Ess
            Still can't say it? Call me Acorn then. -.-

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            TG Primer and Rules


            • #7
              Re: 15 Police Comments

              sounds pretty phony and old.......i am guessing some of these were used in stand up routines etc, before the internet was created......

              but they all sound justifiable, and in probably in most cases were told to inebriated citizens who were being arrested for dwi's while telling the cop off.
              Randy = Ace ! - Warlab
              Level II Volunteer FireFighter
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              Town of Mamaroneck Fire Dept.


              Bring On Project Reality 1.0!!!
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              Tactical Gamer is not mainstream.
              We are not trying to attract mainstream gamers."


              • #8
                Re: 15 Police Comments

                I doubt they are real, but they are real funny so it works...

                ~ Draken


                • #9
                  Re: 15 Police Comments

                  Real or not, I approve. *stamp*


                  • #10
                    Re: 15 Police Comments

                    I approve this message :D


                    • #11
                      Re: 15 Police Comments

                      #12 is my favorite.

                      When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. ~ Jimi Hendrix

                      And isn't it a bad thing to be deceived about the truth, and a good thing to know what the truth is? For I assume that by knowing the truth you mean knowing things as they really are. ~ Plato


                      • #12
                        Re: 15 Police Comments

                        I use number 15 almost every day...
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                        • #13
                          Re: 15 Police Comments

                          Seen a lot in some of my reports... I guided, controlled, and directed the subject to the ground. Use your imagination as to what really happened.
                          "Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results." Gen. George Patton




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