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  • Welcome to the Republican Party!

    I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when
    she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of
    her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her,
    'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'

    She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

    Her parents beamed.

    'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to
    wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and
    mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then
    I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out,
    and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

    She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight
    in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do
    the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'

    I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

    Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
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  • #2
    Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

    haha thats a classic

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

      Wow! That's low even for you. Noone hands over their salary like that. What's the next lesson? Teach the kid to hoard resources she won't be able to use up in three lifetimes while others can't get enough to get by?

      It really warms the heart to see propaganda used on kids. It's so reminiscent of communist dictatorships that it brings a tear to the eye.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

        Originally posted by Lusitano Louco View Post
        Noone hands over their salary like that.
        Do you pay tax, for anything, have any idea what happens to a fair amount of the money???



        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

          Yeah, c'mon cing, that's totally unrealistic. IRL, she'll only have to hand over $20-$25 of her hard earned $50 ;)

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

            hilarious...
            Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -Albert Einstein
            The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. -Harlan Ellison

            If all else fails: "rm -rf /"

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

              That's a cute story, but that's not at all what the republican party is all about - it might be among things that they claim to represent, but it's as false as claims of republican fiscal responsibility. Looking at it that way, your mis-representation of both parties (because it's not all handouts - it's programs to help temporary homelessness and funding for drug abuse recovery and prevention) was right in line. Goes to show why this brand of the party is going down the toilet right now in terms of popular support.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

                Great chart -- now try replacing the Presidential labels with congressional labels and see what results you get. I'll grant you Republicans are only fiscally conservative by one measure though -- comparison to Democrats. By any other measure they fall sadly short. >.>

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

                  Well.... I thought it was funny. Seriously, it's just a political joke. It's like trying to break down what's wrong with Blonde, Aggie, or Religious jokes. Who cares?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

                    ^
                    |
                    | Also that

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

                      Originally posted by TheFeniX View Post
                      Well.... I thought it was funny. Seriously, it's just a political joke. It's like trying to break down what's wrong with Blonde, Aggie, or Religious jokes. Who cares?
                      Yeah, I was slightly amused.

                      On the other hand, it is a good example of the Republican party. The homeless man wasn't offered the job, the friend's child was. Stirring example of nepotism and the stratification of social class. ;)
                      I can ADS using more than a 2x without significant stutter! This was a good patch.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

                        Originally posted by Lusitano Louco View Post
                        Wow! That's low even for you. Noone hands over their salary like that. What's the next lesson? Teach the kid to hoard resources she won't be able to use up in three lifetimes while others can't get enough to get by?

                        It really warms the heart to see propaganda used on kids. It's so reminiscent of communist dictatorships that it brings a tear to the eye.
                        It is just a joke. Many good jokes are based on a stereotype and skew the truth to ridiculous proportions but leave a kernel of truth thus causing some incongruity.

                        For example you can take the same joke and make it funny for a more liberal crowd.

                        I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when
                        she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of
                        her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her,
                        'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'

                        She replied, 'I'd give training, food, health care and safe places for the kids for all the homeless families that lost their jobs during the last depression.'

                        Her parents beamed.

                        'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to
                        wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and
                        mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then
                        I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless family hangs out,
                        and you can give them the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

                        She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why don't we just pretend that their real problem is their lack of morals and then blame them for bunches of other problems? Then, through twisted and self righteous logic, justify decreasing the taxes paid by the wealthiest because they are the only ones that can save their troubled souls. This would then place more burdens on the middle and lower classes causing even more homeless families who can now only turn to the Super rich because they are the only ones with resources to help. This allows them to get cheap labor because desperate people cannot really defend themselves. You can now hire them for $2 to do all that nasty yard work and I will take a nice cushy job for serving them up to you!'

                        I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'
                        A variation for even more liberal individuals.

                        I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when
                        she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of
                        her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her,
                        'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'

                        She replied, 'I'd give training, food, health care and safe places for the kids for all the homeless families that lost their jobs during the last depression.'

                        Her parents beamed.

                        'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to
                        wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and
                        mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then
                        I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless family hangs out,
                        and you can give them the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

                        She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and
                        asked, "Why don't we just pretend that their real problem is their lack of morals and then
                        blame them for bunches of other problems? Then, through twisted and self righteous logic,
                        justify decreasing the taxes paid by the wealthiest because they are the only ones that
                        can save their damned souls. This would then place more burdens on the middle and
                        lower classes causing even more homeless families who can now only turn to the
                        Super rich because they are the only ones with resources to help. This allows them
                        to get cheap labor because desperate people cannot really defend themselves."

                        "But", she continued with an angelic smile, "They will still feel like they have control
                        because we will also ensure they will have guns to cling to! Plus we will encourage
                        them to hate gays and other minorities so that they will not realize what the super
                        wealthy are doing to them." As she went on her voice started to rise ever so slightly.
                        "We will then make sure all forms of birth control are viewed as instruments of the devil so that we can
                        ban their use to protect their feeble souls. This will insure more cheep labor will always be
                        available and that they will fight over, and be grateful for, our meager wages."

                        "You can now hire their children for $2 to do all that nasty yard work and I will take a nice cushy job for serving them up to you!"

                        I then said, "Good lord girl, it is just a joke. Calm down." [Muttering to myself] "Crazy Liberals"
                        Maybe on the last one the throwaway line could be "Rush Limbaugh then swooped in and took her to the secret Republican lair to be raised as the next great hope!"
                        Last edited by El_Gringo_Grande; 03-09-2009, 02:34 PM.
                        Iím not racists, I have republican friends. Radio show host.
                        - "The essence of tyranny is the denial of complexity". -Jacob Burkhardt
                        - "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds" - Emerson
                        - "People should not be afraid of it's government, government should be afraid of it's People." - Line from V for Vendetta
                        - If software were as unreliable as economic theory, there wouldn't be a plane made of anything other than paper that could get off the ground. Jim Fawcette
                        - "Let me now state what seems to me the decisive objection to any conservatism which deserves to be called such. It is that by its very nature it cannot offer an alternative to the direction in which we are moving." -Friedrich Hayek
                        - "Don't waist your time on me your already the voice inside my head." Blink 182 to my wife

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

                          Well done. I'm still laughing :D .

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

                            Awesome
                            __________________
                            |TG|||---DoRo---||

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                            • #15
                              Re: Welcome to the Republican Party!

                              The first joke shows what's wrong with the Democrats. The remainder show what's wrong with the Republicans. So I refuse to vote for either. We're going to hell, either way. The only choice we have is the route.
                              Dude, seriously, WHAT handkerchief?

                              snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."

                              Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."

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