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Radical Jellyfish 'Terrorizes' New Hampshire beachgoers

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  • Radical Jellyfish 'Terrorizes' New Hampshire beachgoers

    From The TG News Wire: A jellyfish stung 150 people at a New Hampshire beach yesterday, leaving many concerned about the radicalization of sea life recently. Experts from TG University say that sea life are becoming more and more disgruntled about the BP oil spill and the lack of action by the US government. This in turn has lead to many of them being influenced and recruited by radical fringe groups.

    When local authorities arrived at the beach they could hear the jellyfish shouting the New Hampshire state motto, Live Free or Die. When they were finally able to subdue the jellyfish and kill him with a pitchfork, his last words were "They may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM! This chilling statement left many residents worried that sea creatures may be the next threat to American life.

    The Department of Homeland Security said that the jellyfish may have links to terrorist groups citing a recent meeting that he attended of the coast of Florida in a coral reef with a school of Iranian Sea Bass. This coral reef is a known sanctuary and hideout for radical sea life who preach there hateful rhetoric and also a place of recruitment. President Obama was quick to address this threat and said the US government will do everything in its power seek out and destroy radical sea life.

    Sea life advocates have spoken out saying that the US government has hyped the threat and that sea life have a right to speak out against oppression. A Palestinian Tuna activist who has a website called fishcanneriessuck.com and organizes a group of radical sea life said that this was an isolated incident, and that the behavior of the jellyfish was probably due to the high level of mercury in his body due to pollution. The State department issued a statement about this group saying they had ties to the Gaza flotilla, a radical Syrian group called Oceanic Jihad, and are active in recruiting and fundraising for radical sea life.

    Ron Paul spoke out against the US government's press release saying that it's a clear case of blowback against bad US government ocean policy. And said "One day were supporting sea turtles, the next day dolphins, sea creatures see the hypocrisy of our ocean policy and are tired of it."

    Some local residents have said they didn't like the way the jellyfish was pitchforked and that local officials issued no warning and could have used a taser instead of killing him. This prompted the ACLU to file a lawsuit on behalf of the family saying that the jellyfish had his civil rights violated.

    Family members of the jellyfish say he was a soft spoken kind sea creature and can't understand what happened. But, said that recently he had attended a local Tea party rally and was seen talking to a group of sharks. This prompted the local Democratic Party to say it was a clear case of homegrown terrorism caused by radical right wing extremists, and called on people to boycott New Hampshire.

    Clearly, jellyfish are the next threat to the safety of Americans. What is the government going to do to protect us? Some members of Congress have proposed an addition to the next war funding bill. This addition to the bill would allocate money for the purchase of unmanned undersea drones currently being developed General Dynamics. A spokesman for General dynamics said these drones would help in the War on Sea Life by making it easier to find, identify, and destroy sea creatures without putting Us personnel in any danger. :)

    Dead jellyfish stings about 150 beach goers in New Hampshire

    A dead jellyfish that broke to pieces while it was being removed stung almost 150 people Wednesday at a state park beach in Rye, New Hampshire, police and CNN affiliate WMUR said.

    So many people complained of itches and burns that the Rye fire department called in help from five neighboring fire departments, police told CNN.

    Most of the beach goers were treated at the scene. Five children were taken to a hospital, police said.
    |TG-X| mp40x



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  • #2
    Re: Radical Jellyfish 'Terrorizes' New Hampshire beachgoers

    LMAO! Thats too good dude, +50! I think you just replaced msnbc.com as my news provider

    [unit][squadl][command2]

    KnyghtMare ~You could always tell the person holding the gun to your head you would like to play on a different server...

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    • #3
      Re: Radical Jellyfish 'Terrorizes' New Hampshire beachgoers

      LOL
      Excellent !
      You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to,
      So that when they turn their backs on you,
      You'll get the chance to put the knife in.Pink Floyd "Dogs"

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      • #4
        Re: Radical Jellyfish 'Terrorizes' New Hampshire beachgoers

        LMAO!!! I think I just peed myself laughing so hard!! With your permission I am going to post that on one of the helicopter forums I belong to!!!
        * *


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        • #5
          Re: Radical Jellyfish 'Terrorizes' New Hampshire beachgoers

          You know ...
          it's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye ....

          then it's a new game ...............FIND THE EYE



          but no kidding ....mutha natcha seems to have her panties in a bunch these days
          I wonder why ?
          You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to,
          So that when they turn their backs on you,
          You'll get the chance to put the knife in.Pink Floyd "Dogs"

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          • #6
            Re: Radical Jellyfish 'Terrorizes' New Hampshire beachgoers

            you should've seen fox news local that night...my gosh the end is near!!!
            sigpic
            |TG-1st|Grunt
            ARMA Admin (retired)
            Pathfinder-Spartan 5

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            • #7
              Re: Radical Jellyfish 'Terrorizes' New Hampshire beachgoers

              Well I hope the end comes before they cut off the unemployment extensions.
              You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to,
              So that when they turn their backs on you,
              You'll get the chance to put the knife in.Pink Floyd "Dogs"

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