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Leaked 1.9 Patch Notes

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  • Leaked 1.9 Patch Notes

    I found these patch notes on the internet, so they might not be real.

    A lot of interesting changes though. Looking forward to the next patch!

    1.9 Patch notes. <--- UPDATED


    Rogue changes:

    -Daggers have been replaced with spoons, rogues waste a lot of energy running around stealthed so now they can eat dirt to make up for the energy lost, additionally stealth has been removed.
    -Backstab now causes no damage and raises your threat level by 100% while causing your armor to fall off.
    -Rogues have received two new skills, Frontstab and Rangestab.


    Priest changes:

    -Priests can no longer heal. They were never ment to heal this was a bug and has been fixed by the devs.


    Paladin changes:

    -Paladins can no longer wield weapons of any kind only books with which they can smite enemies with. Books cause no damage but do a minimal debuff of -1 str.
    -All Blessings have been replaced with various donuts.


    Mage changes:

    -Sheep has been reworked, the enemy being sheeped now has the option to explode just like in earlier WarCraft games. Cause 100% damage to the mage and giving the enemy player free gold.


    Hunter changes:

    ***Due to the "O RLY" craze, Hunters have been nerfed.***

    -Hunters can no longer shoot things, they were never intended to be able to shoot stuff this was a bug.
    -Hunters pets can no longer attack and run away during a fight.
    -Many "Hunters lodges" have been added to the world, Hunters can now enjoy the company of other hunters at these clubs and can avoid doing house work while hanging out with 'the guys' drinking cherry grog and making fart jokes. Additionally, cherry grog has been removed from the game.


    Warlock changes:

    -Warlocks FelHunter is now sexually attracted to fire.
    -Warlocks can no longer walk without the use of shards that take up 8 inventory slots and cause an AoE Debuff of 800 sta affecting all friendly units.


    Shaman changes:

    -Fixed a bug where Shamans sometimes died while in combat.
    -Shaman's can now wear plate.


    Druid changes:

    -Druids will from this point on be called Rogues and are unable to heal anyone but enemy units.
    -Bear form has been replaced with Fish Form allowing the Druid to talk to Aquaman.


    Warrior changes:

    -All warrior weapons will now do 30% less damage and shards of armor shipped from their enemies as they hack at them will cause temporary blindness on every melee attack.
    -OverPower has been buffed to oneshot rogues 100% of the time, however rogues have been removed from the game.
    -Warriors can now used 3-handed weapons.


    Item/Profession changes:

    -Swords were fun to hit stuff with, they have been removed from the game.
    -Armor can no longer be obtained. It was never ment to be given to players the devs have fixed this.
    -All mana pots have been replaced with Koolaid, you no longer gain mana from drinking them, but you get a cool "Koolaid man" effect that makes your character run around going OOOOYEAAAH!


    General changes:

    -Rabbits are now spunkier!
    -Hugbots have been added to IF/ORG/SW/UC and will now hug you as you walk by.
    -A new quest has been added for lvl 60's which gives lvl 50 rewards for killing 100's of rare mobs to obtain even rarer drops from said mobs.
    -You are still unable to mount in UC this is by design, we really hate UC.
    -Darnassus is now under water.
    -Every 2 handed axe/sword has been changed to "Hunter Only", regardless of stats.
    Zeeg - Gnomish Giant Slayer

  • #2
    Re: Leaked 1.9 Patch Notes


    "REMEMBER! Pillage first THEN Burn!"


    • #3
      Re: Leaked 1.9 Patch Notes

      reading this, laughing so hard, figured it was a joke, then i saw the shaman part. that part proves this is the real thing.
      frowning takes 47 muscles, and smiling only take 17, but sitting there with a zombie like stare on your face takes 0, we have a winner.

      The fights are so bitter because the stakes are so small. -watch words of academia




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