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  • <explicativedeleted>!

    Please allow me this brief moment to vent over the past 36 hours of my life.

    1) Inexpensive toys and playtime!

    Good - We've all see those paper cup telephones that kids make and probably even made a few ourselves way back in the day with the two cups and a line of string. They're cheap and somewhat fun and I'm sure there's even a basic science lesson in them concerning sound waves and vibrations. All in all a win win situation if you want some low-tech and cheap fun.

    Not so Good - Supervision of your kids is important. There are a few things out there we just don't do because it will cause problems for other people. We don't, for example, go around to other people's houses and play with the fuse box on the side of the home. Its just not nice.

    Bad - Mix the 'good' with the 'not so good' and you get the "OMG WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU" bad. You make those fun little telephones with cups (disposable paper or foam if you don't care about the environment) with string. You DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE pry open the green tube in front of the house marked "Telecommunications" and use the colorful wires to make your phones. Yes, it makes sense to use phonelines for your phones, but they just don't work with cups.

    "I SHALL REMOVE YOU FROM THE GENE POOL BY CUTTING OUT YOUR REPRODUCTIVE ABILITY WITH A RUSTY SPOON!" - If your neighbor, by chance, should knock on your door asking to use your phone because your kids just had 'fun time' with his phone lines please PLEASE believe him. Do NOT act defensive and threaten to sue him for YOUR kids cutting out HIS phone lines and him being slightly miffed about it. Its called 'vandalism' and the next time it happens your kids might be taken to the hospital for being shot in the kneecaps for 'tresspassing with intent to vandalise'. I swear, no jury will convict me for it! If anything, child services will deem you an unfit parent and remove said children from your incompetant care because, clearly, you do not have the mental facilities to appreciate and care for a dead house plant let alone your kids. Therefore, if said neighbor should hold up a 'cup telephone' made out of his telephone wire and say "Can I use your phone? Your kids made this out of my phone line and I need to get my phone fixed" the incorrect response is "Did you just threaten my kids? I'll sue you for harrassment and call the cops if you don't leave right away!". Not very neighborly I suppose.


    2) Demented Help Service

    *cell phone opening click*
    *dialing*
    "Hello, welcome to customer service. If you should need help with..."
    *series of button presses and verbal answers through phone tree*
    "To better direct your call, please state the nature of your problem"
    "My phone line is cut"
    "I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Please state the..."
    "My phone line is cut"
    "I'm sorry, did you just say you wish to pay your bills? Please state yes or no"
    "No"
    "To better direct your call, please state the..."
    "My phone does not work"
    "I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Please state the..."
    "My phone does not work"
    "I'm sorry, I didn't get that. If you need specific help you may want to visit our website at....Please state the..."
    "MY <explitive deleted> <explitive deleted> PHONE LINE IS CUT"
    "I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Please state the..."
    *sound of scream in frustration and numerous mashing of the "0" button.*

    "Customer service, this is <insertname1here> how may I help you?"
    "Finally! Your phone tree is demented"
    "Yeah...we get that a lot. So how may I help you?"
    *insert customer information here"
    *insert explaination of problem here*
    "Alright let me run a test to make sure the problem is really what you say it is"
    *look down at severed wire and two plastic cups in hand still*
    "Alrighty, it looks like there is a physical problem on your end. Let me transfer you to the department that can set that up for you"
    "Thanks for your help!"
    "No problem, just one moment"
    *insert 'on-hold' music here*
    *picture of me rubbing my head and popping pills for 5 minutes to try and fix my headache*
    "Customer service, this is <insertname2here> how may I help you?"
    "Hello, <insertname1here> said you could help me set up a tech visit to fix my phone line"
    "Alright, can you tell me your customer information and explain the problem to me"
    *blinkity blinkity*
    *repeat customer information*
    *repeat explanation of problem with addition of <insertname1here>'s help*
    "Alright let me run a test to make sure the problem is really what you say it is"
    "But <insertname1here> already ran that test and found the problem, I just need to schedule a tech visit"
    "This will only take a moment, so just hold on okay?"
    *blinkity blinkity*
    "Alright, there does seem to be a physical problem on your end. we can get a tech out there to fix that right away"
    "Oookay...so when can they get here?"
    "Well, let me transfer you to the department that can set that up for you"
    "Wait a second, that what <insertname1here> said. Aren't you that department?"
    "No, this is customer service. Hold on a moment while I transfer you"
    *insert 10 minutes of on-hold with me blinking and sighing over the hassle*
    "Customer service, this is <insertname3here> how may I help you?"
    "Yes, I need to schedule a tech visit to fix my severed phone line"
    "Alright, I need your customer information please"
    *repeat customer information*
    "Okay, so what appears to be the problem"
    *blink blink*
    *repeat explanation with ammendments for <insertname1here> and <insertname2here>*
    "Alright, let me run a test to see...."

    *fast forward through 7 customer service reps as I get more and more annoyed over the course of 4 hours on the phone*

    "Customer service, this is <insertname11here> how may I help you?"
    "Transfer. Tech Department. NOW!"
    "Sir, could you give me your customer information?"
    "No"
    "Well sir, I can't release any billing information to you if I don't have your ID"
    "I don't give a damn. The last 10 people I've talked to have already identified the problem and I knew at the first one that it had nothing to do with my billing information. Transfer. NOW!"
    "Are you sure its not a billing problem? It could be that you are.."
    "NO! I have a severed phone line in my damn hand. I have kids who admitted to cutting the phone line next door. I have had 10 CS reps run the stupid test 10 times to figure out it is a physical problem that requires a tech visit. Tech department. Transfer. NOW!"
    "But sir, if you need to set up a tech visit I can do that for you right now. Any customer service rep can schedule a tech visit"
    "..."
    *blink blink blink*
    "Unfortunately it appears that all of our techs were scheduled out for the rest of the day just an hour ago. We'll send one out tommorow between 12 and 4."
    "So I've been transfered to the same department 10 times for..."
    "I have no idea, and I'm sorry for the inconvience"
    "And the tech to visit..."
    "Will be there tommorow. If you had set one up a hour ago one could've been there right away"
    "Ah...okay...thanks"
    *cell phone closing click*
    "<insert long string of obscenities>"
    My sanity is not in question...
    It was a confirmed casualty some time ago.


    Light, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they ticked me off.




  • #2
    Re: &lt;explitivedeleted&gt;!

    At&t?
    RAWGRLRLRLRRLGLRL!!!

    Nations are like individuals: they achieve more when they plan to plant a tiny tree, and do it, than when they propose to raise an entire forest and then fall asleep in the furrows.

    I AM socializing artard, I'm logged on to an MMORPG with people from all over the world and getting XP with my party using Teamspeak

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: &lt;explitivedeleted&gt;!

      AT&T was bought out by SBCGlobal. Its now one big group of incompetance. :D
      My sanity is not in question...
      It was a confirmed casualty some time ago.


      Light, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they ticked me off.



      Comment


      • #4
        Re: &lt;explitivedeleted&gt;!

        I recognized the telephone support woes.
        RAWGRLRLRLRRLGLRL!!!

        Nations are like individuals: they achieve more when they plan to plant a tiny tree, and do it, than when they propose to raise an entire forest and then fall asleep in the furrows.

        I AM socializing artard, I'm logged on to an MMORPG with people from all over the world and getting XP with my party using Teamspeak

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: &lt;explitivedeleted&gt;!

          It's a pity the kids didn't electrocute themselves.

          Wait.. did i say pity?

          I meant... yeah, i meant Pity.
          _________________



          I'm planning on respeccing to Irritation pretty soon. Granted, I'll lose the burst DPS from Pissing People Off Outright, but I'll get DoT's and higher damage through AoE's.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: &lt;explicativedeleted&gt;!

            I sure hope you send that neighbor a bill for your time. He owes you for 4 hours of cell phone usage...at least 4 hours of your hourly rate (not what you get at work, but what you would be able to make if you spent that time for your own business, which is usually much more). A little for pain and suffering. If he refuses, tell him the cops will be on there way to investigate the vandalism that occured. Hell, take him to small claims court and add the lawyer fee's to it.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: &lt;explicativedeleted&gt;!

              OMFG! That is FUNNY. Not GOOD funny.. but BAD funny.. which is FUNNY still.. but only because you told it so well.

              I wish you a much more relaxing several days.. maybe even a nice vacation with some exotic tropical drinks.
              sigpic


              Comment


              • #8
                Re: &lt;explicativedeleted&gt;!

                LMFAO............................LMFAO somemore.............................Sorry Tarenth about the problems and I know what you went through with the CS reps. Some IDIOTS gave out my cell number to Girlsgonewild and for 7 months I was getting a call from them EVERY FREAKY DAY. After telling tell more time than I can remember to take me off their call list, I start using some rather choice words with the CS reps to the point that they would hang up on me. It was at that point that I didn't get MAD, I got even. I made a stop at my local Wal-Mart and ask the first employee I see where can I find an airhorn at in the store? Spend 4.99plus tax for a small airhorn garanteed to have 150 blast on it. Then over the next 2 weeks at every possible moment during the day( Driving to work, at work, driving home from work and at home) I dial the 4 or 5 numbers that have come up as a CS rep from Girlsgonewild and wait for a rep to pick up, start their speel and HHHOONNNKKKKKK, hang up. It's really amazing after only 3 days the calls suddenly stop but I went a few extra days just to make my point VERY, VERY CLEAR.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: &lt;explicativedeleted&gt;!

                  Hale, if you tell a company to stop calling you, record yourself and the conversation, making sure the company's name is heard. If they call back, you have all the evidence needed to make a case against the company.

                  Sure, might be embarassing going into court becasue the 'girls gone wild' reps won't stop calling you, but... I'm sure they make enough money to make you happy.
                  RAWGRLRLRLRRLGLRL!!!

                  Nations are like individuals: they achieve more when they plan to plant a tiny tree, and do it, than when they propose to raise an entire forest and then fall asleep in the furrows.

                  I AM socializing artard, I'm logged on to an MMORPG with people from all over the world and getting XP with my party using Teamspeak

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: &lt;explicativedeleted&gt;!

                    Only in America.... SUE THE LITTLE B*STARDS! (groan)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: &lt;explicativedeleted&gt;!

                      Americans are the only people I know of who value legal rights over common sense.

                      Case in points:

                      Person sues McDonald's because their coffee is hot...they win.

                      Person sues homeowner because when they broke into their kitchen and cut themselves on a knife left in the open...and wins.

                      High School students sue the school district because they are being held back due to failing the district mandated test to determine graduation eligibilities...and win.

                      Young couple sues cell phone company because they could not reach 911 emergency services even though it is stated 9 times in their contract in bold lettering that thier cell phone service is not connected with 911 emergency services...they also win.


                      Anyhow, I'm too nice to sue and I get phone service for free anyhow. Besides, I like the 'if they do it again I'll shoot them for tresspassing with intent to vandalise' approach.

                      Its that whole 'natural selection' thing.
                      My sanity is not in question...
                      It was a confirmed casualty some time ago.


                      Light, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they ticked me off.



                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: &lt;explicativedeleted&gt;!

                        Originally posted by Tarenth
                        Anyhow, I'm too nice to sue and I get phone service for free anyhow. Besides, I like the 'if they do it again I'll shoot them for tresspassing with intent to vandalise' approach.
                        That idea has been copyrighted by an American. You can expect a letter from my lawyer soon. If you do choose to actually exercise that option, without obtaining explicit written permission to do so, you will be billed accordingly.

                        --Duck
                        Uglyduck - Spec varies - Currently Prot
                        MMORPG = Many Men Online Role-Playing as Girls

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: &lt;explicativedeleted&gt;!

                          Originally posted by duck
                          That idea has been copyrighted by an American. You can expect a letter from my lawyer soon. If you do choose to actually exercise that option, without obtaining explicit written permission to do so, you will be billed accordingly.

                          --Duck

                          Duck soup anyone?

                          :)
                          Lub it on!!!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: &lt;explicativedeleted&gt;!

                            I'm glad I stopped by, that story is quite amusing :D

                            Oh, and you got purty forums here ;)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: &lt;explicativedeleted&gt;!

                              llol jmj... ur avatar is the 'Dunkin Doughnuts' sign
                              powered by Windows 7

                              . . . .

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