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A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

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  • A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

    I typed this up on a public computer, then my time expired and I lost it all. Figures. I have 15 minutes left in my break, so I'll keep this short and elaborate more later.

    Late last night I applied with a different guild. In keeping with the philosophy of TG in which I so strongly believe, I was obligated to pull my toon, which I did today.

    I do not leave TG with any bad feelings. In fact, I anticipate that I will feel a lot of regret in doing so in the near future. I was teary-eyed as I did it, and that will be a hard feeling to shake.

    I didn't leave for a better guild, or for more loot, or because we were progressing more slowly. I left because I was consistently left with a feeling that what I was doing was not good enough. I gave this guild 110% at all times, and over the last month or so, I was continuously told that it wasn't enough. I'm sorry, but I couldn't do any better. I will never be able to express the energy, emotion and effort I put into making TG better, just as I will never be able to express the gratitude and love I feel for everyone here. You guys are my friends, and I hope that that never changes. You made me a better player, and I will miss you all immensely. I hate the idea that I'm leaving my friends behind, but I can't shake the feeling that I've failed you all.

    Lately, I've frankly not been happy playing this game. If I want to play, I have to be happy doing it. I don't know if I'll be happy elsewhere, but there's only one way to find out.

    I feel somewhat hurt given the circumstances with which I was no longer allowed to lead raids. I felt that I was good enough until someone shinier and newer came along, and that I was pushed to the side when that happened. On many occassions, when I wasn't leading, when I was trying to be helpful and progress the raid and the guild, I was given the equivalent to "STFU" in whispers, officer chat or on comms. It left me with a feeling that I wasn't good enough to lead, and I wasn't good enough to listen to. And I was really unhappy watching the raid unravel when I felt I could have helped stop that.

    I kept with the traditions of this guild. I followed its creed to a T, and I was always given resistance for it. I stepped out for other guildies to give them their chance to get loot I didn't need and caught crap from on high. I helped similar minded guilds, and caught crap for it. I found myself with no viable place to turn, and felt miserable looking in every direction.

    I want more than anything else to see TG succeed. I just felt frustrated not being allowed to do what I do best to make that happen. I, above anyone, know my shortcomings and really have no further interest in seeing them enumerated here. I have my reasons for what I'm willing or not willing to change, and I'm sorry if my personality didn't meet with what the guild wanted. But I truly felt that I was being given the full blame as to why the guild hasn't progressed in the last several weeks, and I take that to heart. Changing wouldn't erase that feeling. Changing wouldn't make the feeling that my best wasn't good enough go away.

    I wish there was something more I could have done. But I knew that no matter what I did, I would never feel the same ecstasy I felt after I led our first Rags kill, because I know that whatever I may have done, it wouldn't have been who I truly was, and that sentiment would echo throughout me wherever we were.

    It's been a pleasure, and the greatest of honors to play side by side with every last one of you, and I hope there are many more days of that to come.

    And above all, truly, I am sorry.

    - Edward J. Gorcenski, "Arkamis"

  • #2
    Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

    :(
    “Waiting to be awakened by some unexpected thunderous roar, never dying...the sleeping giant lives and will sleep no more”. - John Seabrook

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

      hmm... Arkamis was told he couldnt lead raids anymore? Personally I felt the most comfortable when Arkamis lead.. Even though he is polish.. Im in aww here, i better keep my comments to myself because im abit disturbed right now.......
      QUOTE : "Icsist has a little shameless behavior in the past"
      Nice remark guys.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

        I don't even play WoW with you guys and I'm sitting here thinking to myself how on earth do we at TG let a seemingly great player and community contributor go on this kind of note? To those who contributed to causing a player to feel like this...be ashamed of yourselves.

        Arkamis, I'm sorry that you feel this way man. There's no reason anyone at TG should feel as if he/she has ever let anyone down. We're all about giving it your best, even if your best isn't great...it's the giving that counts the most. So thanks for doing what so many others can't.

        You haven't failed anyone, and anyone who thinks otherwise is more than likely a failure to TG. So my best of wishes to you man...and if you can't find any fun in these MMORPG's...pick yourself up a copy of Counter-Strike: Source or Call of Duty 2 and join the mindless fun of FPS killing! :D
        | | |

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

          Akamis, Honestly, I'm not suprised, but I couldn't see how to prevent this. We've spoken in PMs, so I'll leave it there. I stopped trying to keep you in the guild when you dropped from Officership, I realized then that you had made up your mind. Sorry to see you go, and sorry if any of it was my fault...or if I didn't do enough in your eyes.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

            Originally posted by Atomic Dog View Post
            I don't even play WoW with you guys and I'm sitting here thinking to myself how on earth do we at TG let a seemingly great player and community contributor go on this kind of note? To those who contributed to causing a player to feel like this...be ashamed of yourselves.

            Arkamis, I'm sorry that you feel this way man. There's no reason anyone at TG should feel as if he/she has ever let anyone down. We're all about giving it your best, even if your best isn't great...it's the giving that counts the most. So thanks for doing what so many others can't.

            You haven't failed anyone, and anyone who thinks otherwise is more than likely a failure to TG. So my best of wishes to you man...and if you can't find any fun in these MMORPG's...pick yourself up a copy of Counter-Strike: Source or Call of Duty 2 and join the mindless fun of FPS killing! :D
            I agree 100% with this.. well up until you mentioned going to Counter-Strike or Call of Duty 2.

            Arkamis your a true value to TG.. I know coming from me it isnt saying much.. But if im thinking it, then someone else most likely is as well.
            QUOTE : "Icsist has a little shameless behavior in the past"
            Nice remark guys.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

              After a little bird whispered in my ear I'm made to realize there is more to this story than meets the eye. I do feel very strongly about my statements on not isolating or rejecting anyone who stands for TG...but I now know that there is more to this than I had thought.

              It's not my intention to open the community to any more division or hostility than is needed. And my apologies if I put myself into something I shouldn't have.

              Still...the offer stands on coming on over to FPS'ville. We could always use another body for the count! :)
              | | |

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

                Originally posted by Atomic Dog View Post
                After a little bird whispered in my ear I'm made to realize there is more to this story than meets the eye. I do feel very strongly about my statements on not isolating or rejecting anyone who stands for TG...but I now know that there is more to this than I had thought.

                It's not my intention to open the community to any more division or hostility than is needed. And my apologies if I put myself into something I shouldn't have.

                Still...the offer stands on coming on over to FPS'ville. We could always use another body for the count! :)

                well a little bird isnt whispering in my ear, and Just from my perspective Atomic Dog.. I have raided with Arkamis with and without him being my leader.. Arkamis lead a damn good raid. And has gone out of his way to help others.. Like i said previously.. He is an asset to TG in my eyes
                Last edited by Icsist; 11-27-2006, 02:31 PM.
                QUOTE : "Icsist has a little shameless behavior in the past"
                Nice remark guys.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

                  I don't get to play very often these days and I raid even less, but I do know that whenever Arkamis is leading a raid something will get done. Its unfortunate that the level of confidence is not as great for all of our raid leaders. Its also sad that something of this nature couldn't have been worked out before people felt the need to quit the guild.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

                    Originally posted by Icsist View Post
                    well a little bird isnt whispering in my ear, and Just from my perspective Atomic Dog.. I have raided with Arkamis with and without him being my leader.. Arkamis lead a damn good raid. And has gone out of his way to help others.. Like i said previously.. He is an asset to TG in my eyes
                    Tis a shame Icsist that you are jumping ship.

                    Your app info to another guild for those wishing to see it.
                    -------------------------------------------------------------------
                    Name: Icsist

                    Class/Race: NE 60 druid ( resto )

                    LVL Required 60: yes

                    Requirements:

                    Some form of decursive requiired for appropriate classes
                    yes i have decursive... until they nerf it then ill have to find a new version or something to work in its place

                    Ventrilo Client yes

                    CT_Raid Assist
                    yes
                    Molten Core Attunement:
                    yes
                    Black Wing Lair Attunement:
                    yes
                    Onxyia Attunement:
                    yes
                    First Aid 300
                    yes

                    You will be required to carry 2 sets of gear, normal DPS/Defense gear, and Fire Gear.
                    yes healing gear / fire gear

                    [u][b]Minimum for Molten Core run is 100 UNBUFFED Fire Resistance in Resistance Gear.

                    Your Current Fire Resistance unbuffed:
                    I want to say its around 130, i would have to double check though

                    If Warrior Current Defense:
                    n/a

                    If Priest Current Total Mana:
                    n/a but fully buffed im around 8200

                    Current Spec Build:
                    resto

                    Professions:
                    herb 300
                    alchemy 300

                    Reasons for wanting to join "Of Hellfire" Raiding guild:
                    Alot of my friends are in the guild and it seems to be a great guild.
                    Friends in the guild : Caltho, Macmorna, Pion, Kaylaria


                    Other guilds you were in and reasons for leaving:
                    Tactical Gamer.. im currently in TG, but the most respected guy ( In my eyes ) was told he can not lead raids anymore so he left the guild.. TG is moving awfully slow and will move even slower now that they let this guy go..

                    RAID SCHEDULE:
                    Wednesday 8-11 pm
                    Saturday 1-6 pm
                    Sunday 2-10 pm

                    I can make these raids.

                    Play Times Available:
                    Most nights except Tuesday

                    Tell us a little bit about yourself, and your personality:
                    Ive been playing MMORPG's since Everquest came out..I switched to World of Warcraft right after the beta and have been playing here ever since.. I currently run a John Deere dealership in central wisconsin, so certain times of the year I may be gone for a week on business for dealer principal meetings and new product intros, but I should be at most raids..
                    I played EQ with Pion for many years, so he knows my style of game play.
                    Im a pretty easy going guy. 26 years old so i tend to believe i have the whit to do good in this game.
                    My character currently has the stormrage legs, helm, and bracers. ( TG can not get passed Vael ). And for cenarion I have the gloves, shoulders and chest.

                    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

                    Well I guess this is the part where we say to you Icsist "Don't let the door hit ya where the Lord split ya" as you have already applied to another guild. Based on your actions of doing so we expect you to remove your tags and /gquit promptly.

                    Good luck with Of Hellfire.

                    Quoted from Beep:

                    Applying to another guild: If you are a TG member and decide that you would be happier in another guild, we wish you well. We also expect you to immediately cease your membership in TG at the time you apply to another guild. While we understand that there can be many reasons to change guilds, remaining a member in TG while actively seeking to join another guild is inconsistent with our goals.

                    If you believe you have valid reasons for staying in TG while seeking to join another guild, you may request consideration of your situation by your class leader or by one of the TG senior officers (Beep, Crebis, Luna or Ricca).
                    Lub it on!!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

                      I am sad to see Ark go, because he did work hard for TG and tried his best to help the guild. Officers did try to work this out with him and find a balance that would work for everyone, but it couldn't be found.

                      Ark, I wish you the best in your future endevors and hope you find a home as good as TG is that lets you have fun again.

                      /salute
                      Sajaman/|TG-Irr|Sajier - WoW Resto Shaman, BF2/BF2142 Assault/Medic

                      | | |

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

                        Ark,

                        Just want to wish the best in your future endeavors as well. If you ever need help with anything, please don't hesitate to drop me a tell.

                        /salute
                        "Remember that all things are only opinions and that it is in your power to think as you please."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

                          Originally posted by Yotion View Post
                          Tis a shame Icsist that you are jumping ship.

                          Well I guess this is the part where we say to you Icsist "Don't let the door hit ya where the Lord split ya" as you have already applied to another guild. Based on your actions of doing so we expect you to remove your tags and /gquit promptly.

                          Good luck with Of Hellfire.

                          Quoted from Beep:

                          Applying to another guild: If you are a TG member and decide that you would be happier in another guild, we wish you well. We also expect you to immediately cease your membership in TG at the time you apply to another guild. While we understand that there can be many reasons to change guilds, remaining a member in TG while actively seeking to join another guild is inconsistent with our goals.

                          If you believe you have valid reasons for staying in TG while seeking to join another guild, you may request consideration of your situation by your class leader or by one of the TG senior officers (Beep, Crebis, Luna or Ricca).
                          Yes Yotion, Im really disturbed with this fact about Arkamis..
                          Im currently at work, but plan to leave the guild as soon as I get home due to this.. I appologize for any inconvienience, and I know the the rules of TG and do follow them hence the reason I will cease my membership at my earliest convenience. I do not want to leave here on bad terms, and do not feel that I am jumping ship. I just believe that this is ashame letting someone like Arkamis leave, therefore Im going to as well.. In fact, Im gonna try a new game out for awhile and am leaving my wow account with an old EQ buddy of mine who is currently in Of Hellfire.. Thanks for everything guys, and Im truely sorry.

                          One last thought... There is a reason why i am a supporting member of Tactical Gamer, and will continue to be..
                          Last edited by Apophis; 11-27-2006, 04:14 PM. Reason: Removed excessive quoting.
                          QUOTE : "Icsist has a little shameless behavior in the past"
                          Nice remark guys.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

                            Originally posted by Icsist View Post
                            Yes Yotion, Im really disturbed with this fact about Arkamis..
                            Im currently at work, but plan to leave the guild as soon as I get home due to this.. I appologize for any inconvienience, and I know the the rules of TG and do follow them hence the reason I will cease my membership at my earliest convenience. I do not want to leave here on bad terms, and do not feel that I am jumping ship. I just believe that this is ashame letting someone like Arkamis leave, therefore Im going to as well.. In fact, Im gonna try a new game out for awhile and am leaving my wow account with an old EQ buddy of mine who is currently in Of Hellfire.. Thanks for everything guys, and Im truely sorry.

                            One last thought... There is a reason why i am a supporting member of Tactical Gamer, and will continue to be..
                            I think you really need to address the term "letting someone ... leave". How exactly do you not let someone leave the guild that has chosen to do so? To what lengths do you change the entire philosophy of the guild/community to cater to one individual?

                            Arkamis has CHOSEN to leave. That's a conscious choice made by him. I am well aware of many efforts that were made to try and resolve the issues without having it come to this. If anything, you should be appreciative for all the work Crebis and others put into trying to work through the issues in the first place.

                            But on another note, if you're moving on from WoW for a time, we have some real nice action going on in BF2142 and some of the BF2 mods! Maybe you can brush up on your FPS skills a bit? :row__523:
                            Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: A Heartfelt Apology and an Expression of Gratitude

                              Originally posted by Apophis View Post
                              I think you really need to address the term "letting someone ... leave". How exactly do you not let someone leave the guild that has chosen to do so? To what lengths do you change the entire philosophy of the guild/community to cater to one individual?

                              Arkamis has CHOSEN to leave. That's a conscious choice made by him. I am well aware of many efforts that were made to try and resolve the issues without having it come to this. If anything, you should be appreciative for all the work Crebis and others put into trying to work through the issues in the first place.

                              But on another note, if you're moving on from WoW for a time, we have some real nice action going on in BF2142 and some of the BF2 mods! Maybe you can brush up on your FPS skills a bit? :row__523:

                              Yes sorry Apo, I worded that wrong in the heat of the moment... And if you guys allow id love to try out BF2142 with you guys..

                              Also, yes Crebis / Orion and the others have put forth a HUGE effort into pulling the guild together... Orion is the one im gonna miss the most.

                              One last thing... Orion if you want i can still change the LUA files of druidcom to get it to work for you guys.. Please let me know.
                              QUOTE : "Icsist has a little shameless behavior in the past"
                              Nice remark guys.

                              Comment

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