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How to be sexy in a squad!

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  • How to be sexy in a squad!

    You might be wondering "Geez, how can I make my squad more badass and kickbutt-awesome?"
    WELL, step right in, follow these 10 easy steps and you will suddenly have a FULL head of hair, larger reproductive organs, AND a happier squad!

    1. Bring a medic kit!



    Bring a medic kit! Heal, revive, and whore out the top of the scoreboard. Medics are almost always at the top of the scoreboard -- feed your inner ego, and go revive the hell out of your team! (Note: you can kill friendlies with your revive tool. Don't do this, as hilarious as it might sound :))



    2. Bring recon balls!



    Bring recon balls! Defending an MCOM rush crate is a lot easier when you can see the little red-dots trying to be sneaky. Find an assault player, ask him for ammo (tip, Q-click on an assault, and he'll hear "DROP SOME AMMO YO"), and then spam balls everywhere. Each time an enemy is killed within the ball-range, you get a cool 20 points.

    3. Don't ask other people, bring it!



    If you are never revived, you might be getting frustrated. The best way to get un-frustrated is to bring a medic kit in yourself. You will revive a whole bunch of people, they will like you, and then you will be happy. Your team will win, pretty girls will fall in love with you, and then you will go on to become a rockstar. Then you will take too many drugs, forget your name, and die a hapless drunk. HOWEVER, before all that, you need to bring a medic kit instead of getting frustrated.

    4. Stay with your squad!



    Your squad is full of silly people. Silly people forget their names, the names of their dog, and the name of the flag you're trying to get. ("duuuuude ... we're like, totally Russian! Nooo waaay!")
    Silly people need your help. It is your duty as the badass-master-extraordinaire to help these poor people out, and stay with them. Don't jump into UAVs or tanks, because then those other 3 dudes are lost and alone and scared. They look like sad puppies, and you don't want to hurt sad puppies, do you?
    You DO?
    Well, you monster! How could you?!

    5. Ask for help!



    Batman had Robin, Peter Pan had Tinkerbell, Dr. Evil had mini-me -- the point is, everybody needs help sometimes. Ask for help. Instead of using your tough macho-guy voice (which, by the way, is pretty sexy) try sweet talking the crazy people around you into helping.
    Right way: "Lots of unhappy Russian dudes coming to A, we need some help here"
    Wrong way: "20 Russian dudes coming to A, it's OK guys, I can handle this -- ya'll can go drink some tea!"
    Also wrong: "Why is there no one at A? Sheesh, what's wrong with all of you!"


    HAPPY SQUADDING!

  • #2
    Re: How to be sexy in a squad!

    Zhohar, sometimes I really wonder what goes on in that mind of yours.



    Former TG-21st
    Swift Mobile On Target

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    • #3
      Re: How to be sexy in a squad!

      Hey! You mentioned 10 steps! What, you just gonna tickle our ass with a feather by only giving us five and keeping the rest for yourself?

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      • #4
        Re: How to be sexy in a squad!

        Oh Zhohar, you're such a tease! ;)

        No, seriously. Gimme those other five steps. Now.
        |TG-Irr| westyfield

        Sig pic by Sonic, avatar by Chalcas. Thanks!
        Irregular since 2007.

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        • #5
          Re: How to be sexy in a squad!

          Five more coming in a new thread!
          For now, enjoy the Zen Master of Shock Paddles!

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          • #6
            Re: How to be sexy in a squad!

            I laughed coffee out my nose. Ouch!!

            This would be cool done in the style of a late night infomercial video. Possibly presented by mini-me dressed as a Russian medic.
            We are not apologetic for who we are. What we can do, however, is educate people so that they fear us for the right reasons.

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            • #7
              Re: How to be sexy in a squad!

              Originally posted by Zhohar View Post
              5. Ask for help!



              Batman had Robin, Peter Pan had Tinkerbell, Dr. Evil had mini-me -- the point is, everybody needs help sometimes. Ask for help. Instead of using your tough macho-guy voice (which, by the way, is pretty sexy) try sweet talking the crazy people around you into helping.
              Right way: "Lots of unhappy Russian dudes coming to A, we need some help here"
              Wrong way: "20 Russian dudes coming to A, it's OK guys, I can handle this -- ya'll can go drink some tea!"
              Also wrong: "Why is there no one at A? Sheesh, what's wrong with all of you!"


              HAPPY SQUADDING!
              I disagree. Super-Human-Tllyx does not need help nor need a sidekick. Tllyx carries the most ultimate weapon of all. The Carl Gustav. Here's an action shot of him using it on Arica Harbor.



              I, Sir, think your advice is crap.

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              • #8
                Re: How to be sexy in a squad!

                See now Zhohar, I thought you were making a thread in my honor. Now I'm upset. Where's my gallon of Ben and Jerry's...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: How to be sexy in a squad!

                  Originally posted by Zhohar View Post
                  2. Bring recon balls!


                  I think you put the balls in the wrong place and I think the girls in this picture have a strong sexual harassment case against the guys...

                  Comment

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