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  1. #1

    CingularDuality's Avatar

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    Illegal immigration: liberal Americans swarming Canada's borders!

    Canada Ousts Liberals - Canada busy sending back Bush-dodgers.

    The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
    intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the
    illegal immigration.

    The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning
    citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill
    O'Reilly.

    Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
    professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

    "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
    producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose
    acreage borders North Dakota.

    The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a
    latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left.
    Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

    In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
    but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush
    Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still
    got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they
    wouldn't give milk."

    Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near
    the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the
    border and leave them to fend for themselves.

    "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario
    border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water.
    They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

    When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing
    loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been
    circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which
    liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.

    In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious
    ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on
    bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs.

    After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian
    immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed
    senior-citizen
    passengers. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk
    Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

    Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating
    and organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

    "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't
    support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one
    country need?"

    In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice
    President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the
    administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said.

    "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some
    endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach
    out."

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  3. #2

    CingularDuality's Avatar

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    Re: Illegal immigration: liberal Americans swarming Canada's borders!

    http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/americ....ap/index.html

    ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico (AP) -- An American T-shirt company has a solution for their fellow citizens who want to vacation in Europe without having to answer questions about U.S. politics -- pose as Canadians.

    For $24.95, T-shirtKing.com offers the "Go Canadian" package, full of just the kind of things an American traveler needs to leave their country and its politics behind.

    There's a Canadian flag T-shirt, a Canadian flag lapel pin and a Canadian patch for luggage or a backpack. There's also a quick reference guide -- "How to Speak Canadian, Eh?" -- on answering questions about Canada.

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  5. #3

    HSantal's Avatar

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    Re: Illegal immigration: liberal Americans swarming Canada's borders!

    Just goes to show, once again, that

    Canada Rocks

    I do what I can.

    cpgf: (n.) Acronym describing a significant other who has not yet acheived full spousal status and is in possession of a cable modem; of note because at YOUR house, you still have dial-up -- and crappy dialup at that.


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  7. #4

    Nightfire's Avatar

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    Re: Illegal immigration: liberal Americans swarming Canada's borders!

    yes HSantal, Canada is a nice place and I love Canada.

    However, I think the Liberals are big cowards who can not face the facts. Bush won, and deal with another four years with him. (yes i voted for bush)

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  9. #5

    drew_952's Avatar

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    Re: Illegal immigration: liberal Americans swarming Canada's borders!

    Yea, but usually Liberals invade the _correct_ country.....small detail there.

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  11. #6

    TheFeniX's Avatar

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    Re: Illegal immigration: liberal Americans swarming Canada's borders!

    Wait.... Canada is it's own country!? I thought they were the 51st state.

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  13. #7

    luna's Avatar

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    Re: Illegal immigration: liberal Americans swarming Canada's borders!

    Canada is it's own country... for now. *giggle*

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  15. #8

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    Re: Illegal immigration: liberal Americans swarming Canada's borders!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheFeniX
    Wait.... Canada is it's own country!? I thought they were the 51st state.
    Canada: the USA's lesbian sister.

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  17. #9

    =DdogG='s Avatar

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    Re: Illegal immigration: liberal Americans swarming Canada's borders!

    Canada:


    it's like a vacation from civilization.


    Canada:


    where you kill what you eat, skin what you wear, and give birth to your husband.



    Canada:


    Who the heck decided ice could be sold as real estate?


    Canada:


    We invented it, America stole and perfected it, Japan mass produced it, Europe sold it back to us @ 10 times the price.


    Canada:


    Oh, you were serious?



    Canada:


    The little nerd you see on the flag pole hanging by his underroos.
    Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -Albert Einstein
    The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. -Harlan Ellison

    If all else fails: "rm -rf /"

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  19. #10

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    Re: Illegal immigration: liberal Americans swarming Canada's borders!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheFeniX
    Wait.... Canada is it's own country!? I thought they were the 51st state.
    That would be us, at least according to the movie...
    Wintermute

    Play EVE online. It's like being an accounting addict in space.

    www.MakePovertyHistory.com

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  21. #11

    TheFeniX's Avatar

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    Re: Illegal immigration: liberal Americans swarming Canada's borders!

    Quote Originally Posted by Wintermute
    That would be us, at least according to the movie...
    "Canadian Bacon" rocked.

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