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Thread: A good joke.

  1. #1

    CingularDuality's Avatar

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    A good joke.

    News Anchor Dan Rather, The Reverend Jesse Jackson, NPR Reporter Cokie
    Roberts, and an American Marine were hiking through the jungle one
    day when they were captured by cannibals. They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the chief.
    The chief said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you, do you have any last requests?

    Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of
    hot, spicy chili." The chief nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

    Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of
    is my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want
    to sing "We Shall Overcome" one last time." The chief said, "Go right
    ahead, we're listening." Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now
    I can die in peace."

    Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
    tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end." The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

    The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Marine, what is your final
    wish?"

    "Kick me in the balls" said the Marine.

    "What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

    "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the balls," insisted the Marine.

    So the chief shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the balls.

    The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from his waistband, and shot the chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the cannibals were dead or fleeing for their lives. As the Marine was untying the others, they asked him,

    "Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the balls?"

    "What!?" said the Marine, "And have you liberal pansies call me an
    aggressor?!?"

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  3. #2

    CingularDuality's Avatar

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    Re: A good joke.

    Can't stop with just one, though:

    URGENT: TERROR ALERT

    API and UPI report that the French Government announced today that in light of the Madrid bombing, France has raised it's terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate"!


    ************************************************** **

    >An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and
    >explore the city on his own.
    >
    >He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a
    >quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have
    >a pint of Guinness.
    >
    >After awhile, he finds himself in a very high class neighborhood....
    >big, stately residences... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and
    >worst of all.... NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.
    >
    >He really, has to go, after all that Guinness. He finds a narrow side
    >street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides
    >to use the wall to solve his problem.
    >
    >As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobbie,
    >who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."
    >
    >"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really
    >HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom."
    >
    >"Ah, yes," said the Bobbie..."Just follow me". He leads him to a back
    >"delivery alley", then along a wall to a gate, which he opens.
    >
    >"In there," pints the Bobbie. "Whiz away,... anywhere you want."
    >
    >The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has
    >ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured
    >hedges, and
    >huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.
    >
    >Since he has the cop's blessing, he zips down and unburdens himself and
    >is greatly relieved.
    >
    >As he goes back through the gate, he says to the Bobbie "That was
    >really decent of you .. is that "British Hospitality ?"
    >
    >"No" replied the Bobbie, with a satisfied smile on his face, "that is
    >the French Embassy

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  5. #3
    FireMarshal
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    Re: A good joke.

    Thats great!!! Good stuff Cing..

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    Re: A good joke.

    "What!?" said the Marine, "And have you liberal pansies call me an aggressor?!?"
    dont show that to jex he may resemble that remark. he he lol

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    DudeMan's Avatar

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    Re: A good joke.

    API and UPI report that the French Government announced today that in light of the Madrid bombing, France has raised it's terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate

    oh god that is classic

    ha ha ha... nice joke man i like th last one the best.
    Last edited by DudeMan; 04-20-2004 at 07:44 AM.

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  11. #6

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    Re: A good joke.

    [QUOTE=CingularDuality]Can't stop with just one, though:

    URGENT: TERROR ALERT

    API and UPI report that the French Government announced today that in light of the Madrid bombing, France has raised it's terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate"!





    LOL - yup liked that one
    Jex.


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