ok, I am looking to finally get the certifications, and want to know what's the dl on these. which ones are worth something? which ones are crap? do they expire? how much do they cost? if they do expire, how long are they good for? is it any cheaper to maintain it, or is it the same price to re-cert?

should I even bother with the tests, or should I just get the study materials and keep up on it? Its not like I am looking for a job with AMD or microsoft, I really just want to be able to put a few letters behind my name on a business card other than cto.

any info would be greatly appreciated.