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  1. #1

    USN_Squid's Avatar

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    Why did the Chicken cross the road?

    George Bush's Answer:

    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
    know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
    either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    John Kerry's Answer:


    At press time, Mr. Kerry was still trying to decide which road, which
    chicken and what side of the road to talk about.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Al Gore's Answer:

    I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
    crossing the road represented the application of these two different
    functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
    greater services to the American people.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Bill Gates' Answer:

    I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,
    but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
    checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------



    Martha Stewart's Answer:

    No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
    dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
    information.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Dr. Seuss' Answer:

    Did the chicken cross the road?
    Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
    But why it crossed, I've not been told!

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Ernest Hemingway's Answer:

    To die. In the rain. Alone.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:

    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
    without having their motives called into question.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Grandpa's Answer:

    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
    us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Barbara Walters' Answer:

    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
    experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
    life-long dream of crossing the road.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    Ralph Nader's Answer:

    The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
    pollutedby unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
    unspoiled habitat on other side of the road because it was crushed by
    the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Jerry Seinfield's Answer:

    Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to
    ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the
    place anyway?"

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Pat Buchanan's Answer:

    To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Jerry Falwell's Answer:

    Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
    plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
    side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends,
    that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that hicken, you will become gay
    too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
    that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
    "the other side.".

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    John Lennon's Answer:

    Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Aristotle's Answer:

    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Saddam Hussein's Answer:

    This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
    dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Captain Kirk's Answer:

    To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Bill Clinton's Answer:

    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
    chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    The Bible's Answer:

    And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
    shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was
    much rejoicing.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Albert Einstein's Answer:

    Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Sigmund Freud's Answer:

    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
    road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    L.A.P.D.'s Answer:

    Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Richard Nixon's Answer:

    The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross
    the road.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Buddha's Answer:

    If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.


    ----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Joseph Stalin's Answer:

    I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Louis Farrakhan's Answer:

    The road, you will see, represents the black
    man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and
    keep him down.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------


    The Pope's Answer:

    That is only for God to know.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Emily Dickenson's Answer:

    Because it could not stop for death.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    O.J. Simpson's Answer:

    It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    Colonel Sanders' Answer:

    I missed one?
    New to TG? Start here!

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  3. #2

    H-Hour's Avatar

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    Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road?

    Ernest Hemingway's Answer:

    To die. In the rain. Alone.
    Best. Answer. Ever.

    ------------------------------------------------

    Dudeman's Answer:

    BCuJuia ANJn# AH* CASI DSOO!

    ----------------------------------------------------

    Leejo's Answer:

    Chicken Butt!

    ------------------------------------------

    Phyllis's Answer:

    Let's keep the chicken accusations down and get back to the topic at hand, or else I'll close this thread.

    -------------------------------------------------

    H-Hour's Answer:

    God I'm bored!!

  4.  
  5. #3

    Sniper's Avatar

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    Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road?

    H-Hour's Answer:

    Nobody move, the chickens loaded!



    I dunno.. im sleepy :P I just made one up off the top of my head



    Memphis Police's Answer:

    CHICKEN! TAKE IT DOWN BY WHATEVER MEANS POSSIBLE!

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  7. #4

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    Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road?

    I am so confused right now its not even funny.

    After reading it 5 times I have concluded that some were funny, others pissed me off.

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  9. #5


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    Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road?

    Quote Originally Posted by HairyNevus
    I am so confused right now its not even funny.

    After reading it 5 times I have concluded that some were funny, others pissed me off.
    HV's answer:

    I don't know why it crossed but it pissed me off when it did!!


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  11. #6

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    Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road?

    It's an old thread and this is an old article but they seemed to fit together nicely. So what happens when the chicken crosses the road? In California he gets a Jaywalking ticket!

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4591869.stm

    Lucky Shot

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  13. #7

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    Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road?

    Oh man... it's crazy to see all of those old names again. H-Hour, where the hell are you, man? Phil? Mot? Geeze, talk about nostalgia.

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  15. #8

    Tonk's Avatar

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    Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road?

    Quote Originally Posted by luna View Post
    Oh man... it's crazy to see all of those old names again. H-Hour, where the hell are you, man? Phil? Mot? Geeze, talk about nostalgia.
    hey, theres an old face =P
    powered by Windows 7

    . . . .

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  17. #9

    Steel_Penguin's Avatar

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    Re: Why did the Chicken cross the road?

    Quote Originally Posted by USN_Squid View Post
    Ernest Hemingway's Answer:

    To die. In the rain. Alone.
    Omg...LOL
    _____________________



    ---


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