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  1. #1

    luna's Avatar

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    My Fellow Americans..

    Thanks to the flygunz.us site for this one.

    QUESTION:

    HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W. BUSH GIVE THE

    FOLLOWING SPEECH?


    My Fellow Americans:


    As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since

    congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in

    Iraq is complete.


    This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces

    from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin

    the reckoning.

    Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which

    have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict.

    This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and

    Poland are some of the countries listed there.


    The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the worlds

    nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of

    both lists later this evening.


    Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those

    nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely.


    The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the

    costs of the Iraqi war.


    The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world

    Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.


    Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.


    In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money

    toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that

    note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you

    down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

    Thirsting for a gutless country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.


    To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal

    now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia

    for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. I am

    ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,

    Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring

    from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis. I have instructed the Mayor of New

    York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in

    Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those

    vehicles will be

    stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains

    to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those

    tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned

    over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.


    A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to

    be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not xxxxxxx

    us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire

    corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple

    extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to

    put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by

    the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty --- starting now.


    We are tired of the one-way highway.


    It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.

    Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."



    Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world

    has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.

    It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate

    homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from

    America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you

    and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.


    God bless America. Thank you and good night.

  2.  
  3. #2

    =DdogG='s Avatar

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    Re: My Fellow Americans..

    and no new taxes.

    I like it...... now make him say it.
    Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -Albert Einstein
    The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. -Harlan Ellison

    If all else fails: "rm -rf /"

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  5. #3


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    Re: My Fellow Americans..

    All the oil countries are on list 2... , you're screwed.

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  7. #4

    H-Hour's Avatar

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    Re: My Fellow Americans..

    Goodbye Israel. Enjoy your second holocaust.

    Should we kick the Canadians out of Afghanistan?

    What kind of delusion is it when the greatest benefactors of the current world order act like such victims?

  8.  
  9. #5

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    Re: My Fellow Americans..

    I get a kick out of "speeches" like the above because things are a but more subtle than all that. But H-hour, they're trying to kill us. They HAVE killed a lot of us, and it often feels like some countries who really should be doing more are actually trying to saw us off at the knees.

    RE:Benefactor - we are benefactors of the current world order in the same sense that Lance Armstrong "benefits" from riding in the mountains. We work hard, we achieve, and no-body has walked up and handed us anything.

  10.  
  11. #6

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    Re: My Fellow Americans..

    Good - sod off with yer aid then, and take macdonalds with you, and all your other companies that operate around the world.

    So because the US gives aid every other country should just jump should they? Yeah that's a great way to think. So if a guy took you out and wined and dined you but then raped you, it's ok because he paid for all the dinner, et al?

    Just out of interest, how many US companies operate in these Aid countries? And would they operate if aid was removed?

    Seems to me this speech is a babies cry for not getting it's own way. Grow up and change the record, or if you want something changed, why not actually do something about it?
    Jex.


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  13. #7

    Wintermute's Avatar

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    Re: My Fellow Americans..

    Quote Originally Posted by leejo
    RE:Benefactor - we are benefactors of the current world order in the same sense that Lance Armstrong "benefits" from riding in the mountains. We work hard, we achieve, and no-body has walked up and handed us anything.
    Nope, we have walked up and taken it from other people. Western civilisation is based on slavery. The Ancient Greeks and Romans started it. None of their advances could have been achieved without large scale conquest, domination and slavery of other societies. All western society is a direct result of these two civilisations.

    Next came the colonists. Britain, France, Portugal, Spain etc. hand-in-hand with several christian denominations which liked converting hethens colonised less advanced civilisations, enslaved their populations, taxed their trade and took their natural resources. All western society is a direct result of these empires.

    More recently we have spread cheap arms technology around the world, provided ALL of the customers of the drug trade, damanded cheap oil and in Iraq taken it by force, encouraged the sweatshop industry, made farming unprofitable worldwide by subsedising our farmers, trained armies, exploded nuclear bombs, sponsored numerous coups and started world wars.

    Lastly, we say that we are good and others are evil yet we are reluctant to be the good samaritain.
    Wintermute

    Play EVE online. It's like being an accounting addict in space.

    www.MakePovertyHistory.com

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  15. #8

    =DdogG='s Avatar

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    Re: My Fellow Americans..

    hey jex... you're on list a...... dont be mad.

    seriously, if you were to constantly help everyone in your neighborhood to the best of your ability, and then got spit on and your car keyed for doing it, would you want to keep going?
    Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -Albert Einstein
    The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. -Harlan Ellison

    If all else fails: "rm -rf /"

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  17. #9

    RYN's Avatar

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    Re: My Fellow Americans..

    Stereotypical American Bull****.

    Maybe Canada should charge the entire U.S. eastern seaboard 100 dollars per kilowatt of energy they recieve from us.

    NAFTA? F--k NAFTA.
    "On My Commad, Unleash Hell"
    "And Let Slip The Dogs Of War"

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  19. #10

    _Ender_'s Avatar

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    Re: My Fellow Americans..

    Just to hear bush pronounce "Bon chance, mes amis" would be worth it.

    Being a proud american I have a biased opionion, so I am not going to share it because most wont like it.

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  21. #11

    phyllis's Avatar

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    Re: My Fellow Americans..

    Quote Originally Posted by _Ender_
    Just to hear bush pronounce "Bon chance, mes amis" would be worth it.
    Now that would be good

    Quote Originally Posted by _Ender_
    Being a proud american I have a biased opionion, so I am not going to share it because most wont like it.
    That never stopped you from posting before
    ..... No ...seriously...post it up !

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  23. #12


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    Smile Re: My Fellow Americans..

    Luna
    I am impressed by your post and id love to see that happen.

    The american companies like mcdonalds in other countries do support there economy and bring them jobs as does our military and everything else the USA does around the world. So by asking or making american companies leave other countries your only hurting yourself.

    By Canada Charging enormus rates for electricity they would only hurt themselves. It would simply force the usa to build its own power plants and then canada would loose that income, cananian employee's would be laid off and its economy would suffer.

    This country (USA") is not bad, it is great. Our civilization was not based on slavery although that is part of our history and every human and country has things in there past they wish they could have done different or wish had not happened.

    Nuclear war in ww2 was a sad necessity to maintain freedom. We were the defenders and not the onces who picked that fight.

    And yes when america goes to anouther country to help them we do try and find a way to profit. If we didnt we we go bankrupt like any other business. So be glad the american government is smart enough to find a way to profit so they can help other countries.

    As far as takin oil by force in IRAQ. They were a starving country until we (USA) went over there built the oil rigs years ago and gave them the technology to harvest the oil.
    Now Are we profiting on there oil because of the war. I sure hope so. We have spend billions of dollars freeing there country. Half of which are to stupid to realize were trying to help them.

    well i wonder who I pissed off

    But Luna started it.
    lol
    Xenophon

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  25. #13

    luna's Avatar

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    Re: My Fellow Americans..

    I never said I agreed with what was posted.

    Although, it would be hilarious to see Bush say "darn tootin'".

    I do agree that most of it is arrogance, but it certainly isn't intended to be a *real* proposal. It's for humor value alone.

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  27. #14

    TheFeniX's Avatar

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    Re: My Fellow Americans..

    Quote Originally Posted by Wintermute
    Western civilisation is based on slavery.
    That's like saying "American's must consume food to survive, therefore they came up with the whole idea of eating." Slavery has been around since day one of the human species in one shape or form. People long before the Greeks were doing it. Added: You think Englishmen went to Africa and just grabbed people off the "streets" and enslaved them? The Africans were selling the Europeans their own people.

    The Ancient Greeks and Romans started it.
    That's just.... nevermind.

    None of their advances could have been achieved without large scale conquest, domination and slavery of other societies.
    Whoa whoa. I'd like to see some actual evidence of this claim. Prove that the Roman's couldn't have made the technological gains without conquest.

    Last time I checked, North and South America was the direct result of a blending of European and Native cultures. Hence the lack of Romans and Greeks killing Native Americans.

    Next came the colonists. Britain, France, Portugal, Spain etc. hand-in-hand with several christian denominations which liked converting hethens colonised less advanced civilisations, enslaved their populations, taxed their trade and took their natural resources. All western society is a direct result of these empires.
    Sum that up to say "Society is a direct result of past society." You're stating the obvious in a round about way. Religion was only an excuse for murder and theft. People don't feel as bad about butching someone that they find on a "lower" level than their own. The heathen would either convert (and still live a second-class life) or die (the preferable way to the Europeans).

    provided ALL of the customers of the drug trade,
    What?
    damanded cheap oil and in Iraq taken it by force,
    Then why am I paying $2 a gallon for gas? Oh yea, because that's not true.
    encouraged the sweatshop industry,
    That's because people want clean air and cheap products but don't want to pay for them (ironic isn't it).
    made farming unprofitable worldwide by subsedising our farmers,
    I dunno about world-wide, but I'm not going to argue with you on that.
    trained armies, exploded nuclear bombs,
    This is lately?
    sponsored numerous coups
    Granted.
    and started world wars.
    Last I checked the tally was at II and Europe was 2-0 on those.
    Lastly, we say that we are good and others are evil yet we are reluctant to be the good samaritain.
    I want my billions of tax dollars spend on rebuilding Afganistan and Iraq back right now. I want the billions spent on rebuilding Europe after WWII back.

    America can't be the good samaritan. We're forced to be the prick beat-cop protecting everyone from themselves. It's sucks being the only world superpower and permanent member of the UN (ha, that worked out well). And we're going to make mistakes just like anyone else would.

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  29. #15

    Wintermute's Avatar

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    Re: My Fellow Americans..

    Quote Originally Posted by xenophon
    This country (USA") is not bad
    I want to make it clear that I do not think the USA is bad. I also want to further seperate myself from "USA Bashers" by pointing out that I always include Europe's actions for criticism where applicable e.g. the UK in Iraq.

    Sum that up to say "Society is a direct result of past society." You're stating the obvious in a round about way.
    OK we agree, that's nice!
    I would qualify that with "This society is a direct result of certain past societies"

    Would you also agree that we have profited from people doing bad things in the past?
    Wouldn't it be great to balance Karma out by being nice to people for a change?

    I hope this is a simpler argument.

    Forgive my naivety but this is what I have always been taught. Do unto others...
    Wintermute

    Play EVE online. It's like being an accounting addict in space.

    www.MakePovertyHistory.com

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